When Tips and Tools Aren’t Enough to Create Lasting Change with Christen Conly
EPISODE 327You can know exactly what to do and still find yourself repeating the same behavior. You make the plan, feel motivated, and get going, only to hit that point where the novelty wears off and the old pattern comes right back. Then the question becomes whether you need more discipline, a better tool, or someone else to finally tell you what you’re missing.
That confusion is the messy middle of change, and it’s where both clients and coaches can start to lose the plot. What gets you started isn’t always what gets you through this part, especially when shame, identity, and old protective patterns get involved. It’s also where coaches can start wondering if they don’t know enough, if the client isn’t ready, or if they should be doing more to fix what’s happening.
In this episode of Truce with Food, I sit down with Christen Conly, a yoga teacher, holistic health and embodiment coach, and graduate of my Truce Coaching Certification, to talk about what changed when she stopped relying on more tips and tools. We get into why falling off track can make sense, how the urge to fix clients creates its own problems, and what becomes possible when change is treated as a process to navigate rather than something to eradicate.
6:34 – What led Christen Conly to Truce Coaching Certification
12:48 – Why starting and stopping behaviors require different coaching skills
16:17 – The client Christen wishes she could support with what she knows now
17:58 – When helping clients becomes entangled with approval
20:20 – Reframing self-sabotage as a protective response
23:10 – Shame-based motivation versus sustainable motivation
27:12 – Letting go of the responsibility to fix clients
32:21 – How Truce Coaching Certification helped Christen coach with more confidence
37:04 – The difference between mindset, identity, and story
39:26 – Technical versus adaptive change and creating safety to experiment
41:41 – How Christen’s coaching changed after certification
44:45 – Using the emotional immune system with clients
